For a while now, I have been blogging about voice. I recently shared a post here, called Speaking Your Truth. During the A to Z blogger's challenge I also wrote a post called Saying No to Being a Yes Woman. As a writer, I play around with POV (point of view) in my novels. There are many POV's in "No Barren Life" I am currently working with switching from the protagonist's voice to the antagonist's perspective in the novel about sirens and a blues singer called "Out of the Blue." Oh how I am struggling with that one. To go from a light, well meaning character to a very dark evil one, reflecting their intentions and voices with equal stature is very challenging. More on that as it develops.
Voice and making decisions plays a huge role in my daily life, as it does for just about everyone. In art, writing and daily life, I have a tendency to be very open. Sometimes I over reach set goals, in my desire for openness and experimentation. Openness includes embracing new ideas, concepts, ways of thinking and being in the world. It can sometimes leave too much room for ambiguity.
A while back I shared on this blog that I had gotten a book deal for "Mama Nature's Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss." I was excited about it, though as time passed a number of elements of the deal and style of the press did not bode well for the book's future. A few days ago, I decided that the book deal was not right for me or my book, so I did not sign the contract.
There were too many red flags. Red flags that I temporarily choose to ignore. I like stretching myself and changing up how I do things or think of them. Still, there were things about this approach to putting my book out into the world that didn't mesh with my vision or professional experience. My lawyer also found a lot of fault with the contract and many of those issues were left on the table in the end, unresolved in the way I or he would have liked.
Now, I am back to square one. I am taking my book back into the unknown stage of being a proposal, though it has reached its halfway mark as a manuscript, at nearly 33,000 words. I have a strong belief in "Mama Nature's Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss" its merits and purpose. I am certain there is great need for such a book that brings together earth veneration, the gods and goddesses, recipes, rituals, ceremonies, meditations, invocations and DIY art projects with the weight loss journey. I know some of you reading this right now will want to read it.
The book has given me strength. Just in the process of writing it and following my own advice I have lost 35 pounds. Reading it over, I notice there is a crystal clear voice and strong intention behind its words. In short, it has guts. Once again, I had to get in touch with my gut and listen to its wisdom. It said to walk away while I still could, and I listened.