Skip to main content

Self-Determination


Today I’ve lit two red candles, for the blood of our people in honor of the two Nguzo Sabo considered so far.  Today’s red candle is for Kujichagalia or self –determination.  In many aspects of my life I have instilled and considered self-determination, especially during this past year. I visited self-determination during my extensive job search.  As all of you know, this is no kind of economy to be on a job search but eventually with some intense perseverance I did find a few jobs. The first job really stretched me.  It was with an internet up Start-up Company.  My job was to help build a metasearch engine, specifically related to the topic of health.  I was stretched at this job because it did not feed my artistic self.  Working 40 hours per week,  I found myself too tired to draw or write when I was off from work and relatively obsessed with ways to integrate artmaking and writing back in my life when I was at work.  It was comforting that many people working with me were also writers but that was not enough of the food my soul was seeking.  Several months in, I became terribly ill and that required me to not only quit that job but also to do some soul searching on how I came to be so ill and how I could correct the illness with which my body suffered.  I became ill slowly and by the time I went into hospital I thought I was dying.  My fever was 103.5 and I had incessant bowel movements, probably every 20 minutes.  Terribly anemic and dehydrated I spent many hours hooked up to IVs and eventually had several blood transfusions.  Come to find out, I have one of the irritable bowel diseases called Ulcerative Colitis.  It took weeks and weeks and two visits to the hospital before I recovered.  I can’t remember being as sick as that in my entire life but finally, ever so slowly, I did recover and am in remission.   I began to think of the things that really feed my soul and brighten my spirit--things that have a positive impact on my sense of holistic health and well-being.  Determined to get well and stay well, I changed my diet, studied up on Ulcerative Colitis and joined some online support groups.  I also knew in my heart that I needed to re-activate my studio and begin some new art work for the healing to root.  I also needed to envision and land a creative job that was closely connected to the goings-on in my studio.  Fortunately, I was able to find such a job, teaching elementary and middle school children art, five days a week.  This drawing featured today is one I did a few years back, using colored pencils.  It reminds me of the state I found my colon to be in--perforated, abscessed, swollen and bleeding—when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis.  Still, there are beautiful, flourishing parts to my internal organs to match the drawing.  I am determined in the coming year to have my organs heal and then remain whole and sound with the vibrant organic wholeness that exists in this Prismacolor pencil drawing.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A to Z Challenge: A Month of African Proverbs

I'm all in, once again.  This is my third year of participating in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. This will be an intense spurt of reading and writing for me, as I'm also editing one book and writing another. I will do my best to stay in, and keep up!

For the month of April (2017) I will be blogging and visiting other blogs. This is a fun and meaningful practice that I've taken on to increase conversations with other readers and bloggers. I am always happy to see newcomers and, whether you comment or not, you are welcome.





A Month of African Proverbs
My 2017 theme is drawn from my soon-to-be released book "Earth Mama's Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss." I have a section of my book that contains African Proverbs. I will be spending time on each of those proverbs, exploring their meaning and inspiration regarding losing weight or otherwise transforming yourself.

Here is the definition of the word proverb: (from Latin: proverbium) is a simple and concrete saying…

Earth Mama's Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss Workshop

Happy to announce that my 6th book has been published by a small publishing house in England called Green Magic Publishing! You can find it here.

It is a very unique book, that has been a long time coming - 14 years actually! When I began writing it my adult children were still living at home and my youngest, who is about to graduate from high school, was little more than a toddler. Time flies but book writing seems to take forever!

The release of, Earth Mama's Spiritual Guide to Weight Loss feels like a birth. It has had growing pains, changes and the labor of bringing it into this world - a labor of love.





I'm offering a series of workshops at Life Force Arts Center in Chicago, to kick off the book and get you into its unique type of hands-on healing and transformation work. This first one is inspired by Welsh Goddess Cerrwiden. Following is a description and how you can sign up at Life Force Arts Center.






Cerrwiden’s Pig: Shifting and Personal Transformation
Goddess Spirituali…

Live it Like Lucy

So you made a mistake? Now what? Cover it up, fix it or apologize? How about…gasp, accessing the damage, learning what you can and then, moving forward?
I don’t know where you stand with your Judge but mine is ruthless. She looks down her nose at me constantly, worse of all, my Judge is within me, always ready to chirp in, whether I request it or not. I say, as I look forward to this New Year: Judge, you are dismissed! Get lost. Piss off.
I have made a mistake. Is it monumental? No. Will it hurt people? Yes. Most importantly, is it fixable? Yes!
No one likes making mistakes, but they happen. I love the “I Love Lucy Show” (the original, in black and white) because Lucille Ball’s outrageously humorous touch invites us to see mistakes in a funny way. We laugh with her not at her, as she falls into one unexpected dilemma after another. Instead of saying to ourselves: this is terrible; we ‘feel’ in our gut: this is funny!
What if our lives could be the same way? I know it would seem pecul…