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Stepping Closer to Winter of Mind and Spirit

Fall has hammered me. I believe I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). This type of disruption happens every year. Lessening of outdoor light, naked trees, leaves blowing about--BINGO, my spirits fall. Most days, I'm flat lining.

I know there are full spectrum lights available. Must get one of those. Meanwhile, I've been trying flower essences, essential oils, meditation, naps, whatever...still SAD takes over, thus less and less blog posts, writing and other creative production.

This empty basket represents the harvest. SAD isn't just about the weather and light changes for me, it's about the harvest. I have posted quite happily about sowing seeds, putting good energy out into the world. But what I'm noticing is how many things I've put into that harvest basket and then tossed back out and into the universe. That makes me sad too.
My debut novel, so to speak, was to be published spring 2015. No go. Too many problems and issues to move forward on that one for a plethora of reasons I don't care to go into today. So, as of now, no debut novel.

My spirituality and weight loss book? Let's see. It's had two small presses interested in signing it. I pulled it from both for complex reasons. What I tell myself is that I was looking out for the best interest of the book. That book was also to come out in the spring of 2015. It does have a new literary agency representing it. I am ever so hopeful Nikki will enable the book to land in a really good, prominent and appropriate publishing house. Time will tell and when it does I'll share it with you here.

My career in freelancing rose quickly on Elance and just as quickly has dried up. I ran into a wide variety of problems and to be honest, schemes, with that website's clientele. Not my cuppa. So I closed out my membership, after working through various difficulties and spending over a thousand dollars, I didn't have. Ugh! Frustrating. Fellow freelance writers beware of that site. Proceed with caution, read everything you can about it before partaking. That's all I have to say about it.

Yes, I still have a lot to be thankful for. But I'm SAD and sad, and feeling drained of my life energy so preparing for Thanksgiving is presenting some challenges. The good things apart from my beautiful family and lovely pets that I'm thankful for are rediscovering art. I blog and talk about art making but haven't done diddly squat until recently.

In my studio today, I have three very large paintings going between 3' and 6'--so there, that's something. They are explorations of the self--self portraits, blown up bits of pieces (eyes, teeth, nostrils) examined piece by piece, little by little. Those should keep me busy for a while. I shall share some of the images soon on this blog. I've returned to oil on canvas and am doing smaller mixed media studies on paper. Painting in oil is wonderful! It's luxurious and expansive in its possibilities. It gives me hope, even as I step into the winter of mind and spirit, which may be even a darker stage than fall.


  1. Such a gentle soul you are, Stephanie. Let not the winter shadows lend darkness to your heart. Easier said than done, I know. And for that I'm sending mental hugs complete with Arizona sunshine to light your painting space. Can't wait to see yet another creative side of you!

  2. Diedre, I was very deeply touched, all the way in gloomy Chicagoland, by your bright message originating in Arizona. Thanks so much for keying in so kindly and sending such a meaningful message! Bright blessings to you!

    1. Thanks for the blessings! And you're more than welcome :-)

  3. Hi, Stephanie, we had our first snow in New York today and it's so cold and gray. I very much prefer the liveliness of Fall colors. I hope your spirits lift up. When I feel down, I try a new creative endeavor. I've taken up drawing again and I'm crocheting a blanket. Stay warm and inspired! :)

    1. Your projects sound awesome Loredana! Are you posting them anywhere? Would love to see. Happy Thanksgiving!!

    2. Yes, I've been thinking about doing an art post. Most are still life sketches. Some are greeting card size I could use to send to friends and family. Best wishes in your future endeavors. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! :)

    3. Loredana, there's a blog hop type of challenge I enjoy called Creative Everyday. You might enjoy getting involved with that. I'm in it but haven't posted much this year. There's another affiliated one called Art Every Day. So with the first one you can do writing, poetry, sewing, knitting, anything. The other is more art specific. Check it out. I *love* still life!!

  4. Hi Stephanie thanks for such a beautifully honest and moving post. that is a lot of disappointment and frustration to deal with. i love how you have described the oil painting. i know when i'm SAD and sad i cry. seems to be the only thing that really helps the underlying feelings and beliefs. I have a listening partner who listens to me cry, deep cries. Tears are the body's tool for sadness.

    1. What a beautiful way to envision tears Piper. Thanks for sharing. I'm intrigued by all that you've said. Thank you!


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